I cab only offer to you, what was offered to me. I was told to go to a bunch of different meetings, pay close attention to the females in the room...listen to what they had to share. When I found a few women who seemed to 'have what I wanted' and they seemed happy about recovery, willing to put themselves out there and talk openly and honestly, then I was ready to take the next step and ask them for a coffee. This is where I could ask vital questions like: Do you have a sponsor? How long have you been in recovery? (Time itself shouldnt always be the make or break deal....but its not advisable to get a sponsor that has under a year themselves) Have you done the steps? (Oh my...please ask this and save yourself the mistake I made)
You can also ask anything else pertaining to sponsorship or recovery that floats through your mind.
Im an open book with newcomers looking for sponsorship or friendship. My responsibility as an AA member is to share my experience strength and hope with others, and I consider it a privledge to do so. My experience is that most people are willing to answer almost anything pertaining to their recovery.
Keep an open mind and look at ALL women. She doesnt have to look like you, be from the same background, be married/unmarried like you. Maybe she's WAY older than you, maybe she's younger....maybe her skin colour is different, maybe she's a proffessional woman or been homeless. Look at everyone, and listen to their shares.
She's out there....God will put her in your path...just be receptive to watching for her, and be willing to do the footwork like asking her for coffee.:day6