Thanks everyone, especially Hollyanne. I've done some more research and am struggling to accept that there's no way for anyone to really guess how long he could be around. For now I've accepted that it's all degenerative and there's absolutely nothing anyone can do to make him better. My mother-in-law decided that when it comes to where he can't walk anymore he'll stay at home and they'll call hospice in. Unfortunately, he's very nearly there right now. He can't bend his knees but a few degrees and his feet are so swollen he can't even get socks on anymore. It hurts him a lot in many areas of his body to walk. He goes back Wednesday for a recheck after a few days of the Lasix so we may know more then. The doctor said if the Lasix works it's really only delaying the inevitable at this point, though.
We all knew he was in bad shape but now that we know HOW bad of shape...*sigh* I'm afraid of what will happen when he can't walk and my mother-in-law is torn about bringing him the beer, knowing if she does she'll kill him a little more with each can and if she doesn't the DTs would probably kill him also. Her uncle followed the exact same path he's on and they called hospice at the same time, when he couldn't walk. He died less than 2 weeks later.
I just feel like I want to bawl. I have a so many emotions and conflicting thoughts going through me right now. Frustration, anger and sadness mostly. I am SO ANGRY with him for doing this to himself, but mostly to the family. It's SO SELFISH that it makes me want to scream. His attitude about the whole thing makes us all want to scream. I'm frustrated with the idea of playing "the waiting game" again, so soon after grandma and her uncle, and that my wife's 1500 miles away when she really just wants to be home and I want her home. And sad...just very sad about all of it....