Thank you all. I am also taking care of me as much as her when I go to NY. It is something I want to do. She was always the family caretaker, the helpful one. She cleaned house and cooked when I was a single parent. She is a really caring person. I am happy to be able to help her if I possibly can. I haven't done it before. She has taken care of herself all her life with no help from me. Is helping always suspect in AA?