I have found in the past that when I have decided to take it upon myself to "help" someone else, for all the right reasons and all the best intentions, I never considered that my "help" would then be expected to be permanent. Whenever I have taken on someone else's life decisions (which I have done many times, in many ways) it meant I had to take on their responsibilities too. It's a package deal. I personally have enough on my plate to be running someone else's life too. I can't do both and still have peace and serenity.
Once I make that initial investment, I now know, it is going to snowball into a whole lot more than I originally bargained for. I have learned through over 20 years of trial and error, to really think thru the consequences of my "help." both to me and to the person I think needs me.