I suppose if I have to ask the question in the first place, then that would mean I do have some issues with alcohol....
This weekend was just the last straw in a recent run of bad events with alcohol for me. I'm not sure why I keep going back to something that makes me ill, feel terrible guilt, upset my friends, family and partner, embarrasses me and is really detrimental to my health. I cannot do just one or two drinks. I'm coming to the realisation that I need to stop drinking alcohol-it's only taken me 12 years (since I was 14!).
Unfortunately my boyfriend had not heard of the term high functioning alcoholic before I spoke to him about it yesterday. This seems to fit me and my patterns, except I have more of a binge compulsion...He seems to be of the opinion I can drink but I just need to drink less. Why can't he understand I find it hard to limit my drinks and stop myself once I have started?
I have a good job, rent a lovely house, have a job with serious responsibility and in general a good relationship with my boyfriend. I have had periods within my life of significant depression coupled with alcohol and substance misuse, but have always really managed to hold it all together. Without wanting to play the world's smallest violin, life hasn't always been great for me but that's no excuse. More than anything I hate the fact my alcohol misuse and problem drinking turns me into a vicious and verbally and physically abusive woman.
Feeling a bit sorry for myself today....
