Thank you, suki. I do agree with you on several of your points. And, on paper, I couldn't agree with you more. However, it is still very hard to sever the ties that do bind us together- our immense love for each other, our compatibility on so many levels, the sense of having a partner and teammate 85-90% of the time- those are only a few of the wonderful, wonderful things about our relationship (granted 85-90% should be more like 100%!). Is there a major problem that continues to go unresolved? Yes. Is my partner contributing to the problem? Yes. Has he taken responsibility for his part? No. Has he tried to understand what is going wrong? Yes, but through the 'I'm going to help you figure out what's wrong with you' lens.
So, if you look at it as a 'black and white' issue, then yes, I probably should have said 'I want to break up, period. No, ifs, ands, or buts.'. But, in between black and white there are a million shades of grey. He is my best friend. He makes me want to scream. He is my #1 fan. Sometimes I want to punch him (never, ever would!!!). He 'gets me' on so many levels. He has inspired me to become a better person. But, his drinking and lack of understanding of my problem with his drinking is killing this relationship.
Sorry, I got off on a tangent there! Thanks, suki, for helping continue to stay focused on my needs and my health!