The longer I do this the more I realize the only person I have to live up to is me. I know if I'm dishonest I find it difficult to live with myself - and am only cheating myself. Also, when you say dishonest - do you mean lying or omitting the truth? There's a lot of things I really need to be honest with myself about, but I'm not there yet - there's only so much you can bear at one time.