The best seven days
Well, the sun is shining I'd like to write a positive post. Have i finally 'got it' and overcome my alcoholism? Unfortunately not yet. But... I've just had the most amazing glimpse of what sobriety could be and I'd like to share it with everyone else.
It started with a simple invitation - a week with my parents and young cousin. What could be nicer.... I'll be frank though, I was terrified that I would drink - there would be a ready supply in the house, some of it even mine (past gifts) and I prayed that I wouldn’t screw things up. As I headed down the motorway the usual Day 1 withdrawal guilt and anxiety kicked in (too much time to think). I arrived a nervous wreck.
And that's where it began. A truly remarkable, wonderful week. So many good things to describe, trips to the coast, walking the dogs in the rain, cooking, fabulous shared meals, board games, jokes, helping to paint the house, shopping for fireworks, carving pumpkins, laughing out loud as ‘little cousin’ taunted and teased me. I visited a local company I do some work for and spent the day troubleshooting their latest projects. I got more done in two days than the last three weeks.
Now of course it's not that easy. I had a minor panic towards the end of the week with my AV taunting me madly, 'something bad is going to happen if you don't take a drink'... but I stuck to SR like glue and didn’t touch a drop. ‘Little cousin’ thought I was having an illicit online affair :-) She found out eventually and her comment was 'well you're much better than last year' with a shrug, a knowing look and a sharp jab to the ribs.
But here's the good bit. Driving back, I felt what I can only describe as pure joy. No disasters after all, my parents the happiest I’ve seen them and a world of possibilities ahead. I did slip again subsequently but if I can grasp hold of this memory I know it will help me in the months ahead.
So have faith guys, it CAN get better. The joy of sober living is apparently a reality after all and that's quite something to consider. On with the plan!