Bliss, you are very welcome here. i to can relate to drinking like you did. you dont have to do that to your self any more. you do know how to stop it. you have done it before and you can do it now. it is not an easy path to remain abstanant but that is the only way out. on the other hand the horrible cycle you have been living is no bed of roses. one day at a time you can do that one day. keep us posted.