There are no rules.If you are able to stay sober on your own, but alanon is helping you, then give it a try.The steps are the steps.I think Step 4 is usually a little differnt for alcoholics/addicts than Alanoners as it is more focused on the problems drinking has caused.The steps are a spiritual awakening whether done in AA or alanon. It's not like AA won't take you back if you should decide to go! I think you are probably dead on that your codependency caused you more problems than your drinking. Sounds like you are really taking a long hard look at yourdelf..nice work!