Hi Sara...I really hope you can a) leave this man to begin rebuilding your life, and b) get some counselling/support. I wanted to respond to your post because I've also been with someone who abused/sold cocaine, and...I was a stripper to support him, myself and his son. There's a real addiction factor where strip clubs are concerned...Just like drugs, there's excitement, the illusion that ALL the dancers are sexually available and interested, the attraction to the "forbidden"...the music, the dim lights, the booze, the naked girls, every kind of drug available...It's so easy to get sucked into that world. I despised it. And I worked in it for 2 years of my life.
I would highly recommend getting a small safety deposit box at the bank to put your valuable documents (birth and marriage certificates, credit cards you don't want him to have, small valuables). Put it in your name only and PLEASE don't give him the key (I know it's obvious, but I was stupid enough to give my X the key and he stole everything in there, leaving me with wads of blank paper).
And yes, get tested. I'm glad I did.
You deserve better than what this relationship is giving you. Your children deserve a healthy, happy and fulfilled mother.
I hope you keep posting and reading. SR is always open.