Hi anaconda...I actually understand what you mean by addiction taking everything from you. I thought so too. Do you really want it to take your life too?
There are those that believe that if you don't resolve an issue in this life you have to do it in the next life and it will be even worse...just a little something to ponder which I hope gives you some motivation:-)
If you feel you must have benzos to detox, perhaps a supervised detox would be best. I agree it was unkind of those in the meeting to laugh at you.