...and you are defending it which makes me concerned for you and your resolve. What could have possibly motivated the sending of the book? Just thinking of you? Because he loves you? Because he wants you back? Because (fill in the blank).
It doesn't matter. None of those answers matter. The time and thinking he spent acquiring the book, sending the book, and the content of the book can be only one thing. It's not flowers, it's not chocolates, it's not a small thoughtful gift, and it's not a card. It's a friggen' self-help book! It's focusing on your program instead of his! It's him being in your business!
Good God. My AW used to do this all the time and it's common alcoholic behavior (and it is also common Al-Anon, Co-Dependant, manipulative behavior). That, and only that, is why you have "lots of fast reactions... ...as to why this is blatent manipulation."
I'm still with my wife and love her truly and deeply after 12 years of our struggle together, but my wife no longer gets me books, or makes suggestions to me as to how I interact with, engage, and participate in my recovery. I give her back the same respect and gift. When we slip (and we do occasionally) we call each other on the behavior immediately and ruthlessly. No more bull**** with each other, overlooking things, or pretending it didn't happen. Brutal honesty. For us, it is only in this way we can be together. Drives our daughter crazy.
Cyranoak
Originally Posted by
Babyblue 
Wow lots of fast reactions here and I'm at a loss as to why this is seen as blatant manipulation? I'm a person who believes that people do deserve forgiveness and the ability to try to right the wrongs they have made. Not saying AT ALL to get back with him. You sound quite happy to be on your own but there is some letting go that needs to happen I think. Letting go of some resentment I mean. I dunno, that is just my take on this.