Yes Freedom - it IS like waiting for them to create the out ... and I was so vulnerable in many ways back then that I am not now (financially - applying for disability, and uncertain). Now that I am ready for the opportunity, it's like he can sense my inner strength and it will not happen. It is the ONLY way that I know he would let me go without a fight, though. I could kick myself for not seizing the opportunity before, regardless of the potential unknown consequences!
As far as he's concerned it is part of the past - but it's still very much a part of my present ... apparently!