hi pearl-
yes, what you have described is abuse.
after five years, mine began by breaking things. then he began throwing things. then he would break thru doors (after i moved into the guest room). as i began to seek help here and change my response, it escalated. then he started throwing me around, to intimidate me. he didn't hurt me, but it was very threatening.
once when he threw me around, i fled to a neighbor's after he had passed out. once he came to, he took a bat, smashed through the neighbor's glass door and assaulted my friend. i remember sitting in the neighbor's living room, trying to determine if i could jump out of the third story window and land on the hedge? the police weren't coming quick enough.
finally, i left. he still tracked me down one night and threw me down a concrete stairwell, thinking i was having an affair. (i was at a friend's, having a cup of tea and listening to music) he broke my shoulder.
pearl, what you have described in your post is raising some red flags for me. the breaking of things, slamming doors and in particular, the obsessive tracking down of you if you are out of his sight.
i want to recommend to you that you have an exit plan, in case you are threatened again. what i mean by this is a bag that you can grab and flee. i hope you don't have to use it.
i had one and i did use it. what i put in mine was a piece of paper, with important phone numbers and bank numbers and logins, some cash, extra car keys and a pay as you go mobile phone topped-up.
i took a further step of taking my important documents off-site, out of our home...things that are difficult to replace, like passport, birth certificate, my college transcript, etc. these i stored at a friend's house.
i don't want to alarm you but i want to make you aware.
a drunk man who has shown a tendency towards violence and possessiveness can be dangerous when they feel you might be leaving.
you take care now,
naive x