Originally Posted by
notforgotten 
But every now and then, I picture him alone in his apartment, beer cans strewn on the floor, waking up with that sickly sweet smell coming off him. His paranoia and loneliness when no one returns his calls because he's annoyed them, but he can't remember it. His liver and blood pressure.
I guess for the first time, I'm seeing his alcoholism without me in it, and it's scary.
This is exactly where I am right now. I never lived with my ABF but we spent a lot of time at each others houses. Now I refuse to go to his house and spend the night because I would just be a witness to all the drinking, angry talk and passing out. I know how you feel. I think about him alone in his house drinking and passing out or doing something that may cause harm to himself. His father left when he was young and his mother passed away 7 years ago. He does have a sister but they don't talk much. His grandma does call him regularly but I know how hard it is to get a hold of him because he is often drunk and doesn't answer. I guess it is better for me since I am not around the drinking but I also fear for his safety and well-being. I know he is alone and gets upset because people don't call. But he has hurt or disappointed so many people that they do not want contact with him.
Thanks for your post. It made me feel like there is someone out there who gets what I am going through.