Originally Posted by
Petewill 
87 days and I feel worse than ever. don't feel connected to the meetings. working on step 2 and feel no spiritual connection to anyone or anything. Feel totally disconnected. Things are going good, just got my own place, school is going good, went on a few dates (know I really shouldn't) Just thinking I could get away with drinking a bit and there will be no repercussions, just need to escape myself. sure, that's what I said before and relapsed for a year after that.. ugh.. so, frustrating. What is the deal here… someone suggested I throw myself into my NA program, as far as service.. afraid to be accountable though….. thanks for reading.
87 days
There's a saying........."fake it until you make it"
I think as long as you continue to go to meetings you'll come around.
As far as this fear of being accountable don't you think going to meetings is a form of accountability?
As far as service work goes don't rush it I think some jump into it too soon.....give yourself time. Recovery has no time table....
just keep going and allow things to happen on there own..........you'll know when your ready.