Are you depressed? I ask because I keep feeling depressed off and on- which makes feeling connected to anyone or anything really difficult. I get the same thoughts that drinking might be ok, and then I remember how miserable I was right before I finally stopped drinking. And I am also afraid of a long-term relapse.
I have been slowly finding things that interest me. That seems to help me a lot. I also see a counselor which helps. Long ago I read a book that I liked a lot ("Feeling Good" by David Burns). Lots of practical suggestions for feeling better.
I'm happy that you have several things going well in your life (school, getting your own place, and dating).
I really appreciate the posts about things not being perfect. Because I don't think the idea that one gets sober and life is perfect is realistic. It's easier for me to stay sober when I remember that life is life. And I can stay sober regardless of what happens.
I only go occasionally to AA meetings (so no sponsor and no steps). But, as someone else suggested, if you don't already have a sponsor, would it be helpful to get one? It would be someone to build a relationship with- even if you don't feel connected right away. Do the steps speak to you? Do you feel some sense that they fit for you? (I say this because trying to force myself to feel connected at meetings was not helping me. When I let go of needing to fit into a specific program, I felt a huge relief.)
Be gentle and kind with yourself.