Yes- surrender- that is what i feel . powerless. giving it over to God. I know that He can do what I couldn't. He is gonna fix what I have done. I also tried to make my kids happy. let them say their mind, and son took it to a neverbeforeexperienced level- argued with us until our brains felt like hamburger. he still tries..
i have gotten better at not feeling that sick, fearful urgency to give in, to make him happy. like making a sacrifice to him, to appease him. yuk- why did i always do that?
guess cause i didn't know what really loving is. did what i wished someone had done for me, but son did not need rescuing. i kept him from feeling pain in the world, and he did not learn how to deal with real life.
i am going to go baby sit for my little jack- he is one year old. and just a peach. he looks so much like his uncle- my son!
i will relax and enjoy this time. heck , a meteor could strike and wouldn't it be silly to be thinking " wonder if he has any toothpaste".........
things will be better for me and for my son. i just know it.
hugs,
chicory