Love your ramblings, LaFemme!
Not sure if I said it earlier on this thread or not, but knowing the basic chemistry of what happened in my brain when I used actually made it a little easier. I knew that all the stuff that was going on-- the depression-- was a result of the drugs and alcohol and it was likely temporary. That in itself made it easier to handle, I knew there was an end at least. So thanks for all the science, everyone!