Today, I made an appointment with a counselor who deals with relationship and self esteem issues- I'll see her early next week. I'm continuing with Al-Anon 2x week. Also, I had a nice distraction tonight- I'm close with my folks, and went out with them and some other friends for my dad's b-day celebration. It was awesome to get some visitors, and I'm feeling pretty good tonight
I also had a realization that might help me let go of the xabf a little easier, and forgive myself a little sooner. I don't see why I shouldn't acknowledge that I had real love for this person, and the parts of him I loved I don't have to stop loving, even though I fully acknowledge that I'm not IN love with him any longer and cannot and do not want a relationship with him. To me, this means I don't have to try to un-love someone, just that I don't have to involve him in my life anymore. For some reason, this feels a little true-er to myself.