you are strong, not weak. you're a mother, who has been through hell and back. you love with a huge heart, and though many times it has been broken, you can still love just as much.
right now, you seem full of self doubt and low esteem. maybe (though i know that right now it might be tough) you could think of some things to build you up, and give you courage and confidence. life is beautiful, still, even while there are bad things going on.