Me too. Survival. I had to choose me. I remember dealing with alcoholic, addicted, abusive XBF, desperate, scared, unable to let go. Obsessed even. And I remember feeling like I was in the water, trying desperately to swim, but he had me by the ankle and in HIS desperation would pull me under with him in his attempts to keep from drowning. I'd go to therapy and to Al-Anon and take antidepressants and these things made me feel like my head was above water. But as soon as I would gain any strength like this, he'd do something else to pull me back under. It was a very desperate time in my life and took me nearly two full years to break free. That was when I truly learned that sick people will MAKE you sick.