Are you being honest with yourself about your feelings for him? It seems like you are the one who is unable to change and move forward (maybe I'm telling myself this too). - So true...I think there is a part of me that is afraid to move on... Afraid of what...??? Many things...
Change maybe...??? May I say I have an irrational idea that as soon as I move on, he'll get sober...find someone else and live happily ever after...and have the life "we" were supposed to have together. I know that it's crazy...but I'm going to be honest with myself and you all...and I think that's a major reason why I hold on..."just in case"...