BklynGrl

I really can't even believe it. AH and I have been separated for almost three months. In that time I asked him to get treatment and to go to counseling with me neither of which he ever made an active effort to do.

We have been virtually unable to communicate. He calls once a week or so and says a few things and then hangs up. I never bother, I've just been trying to distance and detached myself.

Today he had been in the apartment when I was at work and left me flowers, that's been his thing lately when he comes to pick up stuff. It's always very unsettling for me. SO today I decided enough is enough. I called and asked him to please let me know ahead of time if he is coming over and to stop with the flowers. I don't want or need them.

Then and this is the kicker... He says when do you want to get divorced before all my medical stuff or after. (He's going in for a biopsy on his thyroid, the dr's "think" it might be cancer. This whole cancer thing has been another bone of contention with us.) My jaw dropped when he said that. I've been looking into divorce lawyers all week, but had no idea that he realized that that is where I was. I said I'm ready when you are.

Then he went on to say he wants to do this as amicably as possible, he'll get the keys back to me, etc. etc. I asked him how he knew that this is what he wanted and he said you haven't been nice to me in months. I tried to explain that I wasn't getting anything I needed from him and I was just trying to protect myself.

He told me he'd call on Sunday and we can start figuring out details. I'm sad I've been crying my eyes out since I got off the phone. But as sad as it I know somewhere deep deep deep really freaking deep down inside that in the long run it will be the best thing for both of us. I just wish these stupid tears would go away.:rotfxko