My UN Gratitude List
My AH is moving out Nov. 1st and so when I have moments of wanting things to go back to the way they were instead of the way they are I will read over this list:
The night I had a miscarriage he said he couldn't take me to the hospital because he had an important meeting the next day.
The weekend I came home from a retreat from being really sick, he was at a bowling charity event all day, son age 12 was home alone all day when AH said he would be sure son was with family, then when AH came home from event, he had to go to church to get my things and he was drunk so I was embarrassed
When we would go to friend's house for a gathering he would always stay longer than I would and not come home with me unless he knew we would have sex
He called my son a "jackass", then didn't remember what he said the next week
He would leave at 3:30 in the afternoon and not return home until after 1:30 am the next day
All he would bring me as a gift was a 6 pack of beer hoping I would drink with him.
The first night I met him I drove him home from a wedding reception because I was afraid of him drinking and driving (enabler at first sight!)
Being yelled at because I asked him to stop drinking for the night at a family gathering.
Never being truly cherished for who I am.
Always being harassed into sex, grabbing my rear, breasts, being told I should appreciate his affections, that that is how he shows his love.
Going to soccer tournaments and being the family with the stocked cooler of beer.
When he asked me if he could grow marijuana in our basement and when I said no he made me feel like I was stupid because no one would ever know. And then he never said he wouldn't.
Lying to me that there was no pot in the garage when there was and threatening me to not worry about it or I would have more to worry about.
Bullying me emotionally whenever I confronted him or simply asked a question he didn't like.
Never holding me to comfort me.
Sleepless nights wondering if he would come home safe.
Worrying about how much money he would spend from our checking account and being scared to tell him that we only had so much money to spend and not being able to say to him, hey here is 40 dollars and that is all you have to spend for the next two weeks on beer.
All the things he didn't remember saying when he drank and my son asking him why he didn't remember.
How much I regretted holidays with family and the drinking. Staying up on Christmas Eve to take care of the presents for the morning while he slept because he was so drunk.
Dealing with his advances on me sexually after a night of heavy drinking because he was so horny.
Wow, I feel so much better knowing he will be gone in 9 days!