naive

you are allowed to change your mind, should you so choose to.

i also want to encourage you to consider yourself. of course, there is the weighing of emotional damage to the children regarding their father, but that aside, what about you?

what do you want?

do you want to be drawn back into his recovery? do you have the emotional reserves to give him yet some more?

you are raising these two boys alone in tough circumstances. you have the threat that he will loose his job, and you loose your income, you have just been through a divorce.

i find myself wondering, what about you?

prior to recovery, it was habitual of me to take care of everyone else, to the detriment of myself.

i am now learning to consider myself too. i am learning i can say "no". i'm learning i don't always have to be availalbe to people. i can take the phone off the hook, i can not answer my door, i can decide not to get involved with people's personal dramas.

i am learning to protect my serenity, my peace and quiet, my own space in my own house.

for me, this was and is a tough lesson, but i am reaping the benefits in that i feel healthier, drama-free and well-rested.

one other thing for you to consider is that all your caring of your XAH did not heal the problem. it is only after you divorced him and stepped back, that his life became unmanageable and he sought help.

it is possible if you step even further back, that that will assist him in hitting his bottom and getting serious about his own recovery.

however, totally independent of him, please consider yourself and if you want to go through the ups and downs of his rehab. and possible relapses. even if he is successful in quitting drinking, many do not overcome the deficiencies of characters and just become what we call "dry drunks".

just putting that out there so that you can consider it while you make your choices.

naive