sad tonight
tonight I was so ready for my alanon meeting in my town.
xh sent son money in the mail, and of course, son was drinking when i got home from work. i was upset, then regrouped, and took off for the alanon meeting that i went to two years ago.
i found an aa meeting there, but the alanon group has dissolved. i was really disappointed. came home, and read a lot of the classic reading, and other topics that i had not read yet. did not realize that they were so great.
i think that higher power had other plans for me tonight. he may have wanted me to read the "three act play " article. I have never seen alcoholism from that view before. it seemed to be a birdseye view of my house. I feel like that has driven a wedge into this closed trap of a brain of mine. How can i be so blind? what is wrong with me, that i see my son as not being able to care for his self?
something is definitely wrong with me, and i need to fix it. I just did not realize how sick i am. very sad tonight.