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Old 10-21-2010, 03:30 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
sesh
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: europe
Posts: 624
Originally Posted by PacApps View Post
I do think her alcoholism is still in its infancy.
I wouldn't bet on it. Drinking at 9 am, no way she is not drinking for the rest of the day too.
My RAH was similar type of drunk, highly functioning, but was drinking every day all day long. Hardly anyone noticed anything. I did but only because my dad was A too, so I knew how to recognize the signs much better than the next person. RAH was never stumbling down (only very, very rarely if he was out celebrating something) until over a year ago when his health started detoriating, he lost weight, his stomach was bloated, he turned yellow, and in May he was admitted into hospital with end stage liver cirrhosis. I knew he was drinking but I dind't know that he drunk that much, and I knew it could get bad eventually, but I thought he was not there yet.
Some A's drink until get wasted, some enough to keep them going. The fact your wife is not wasted everyday doesn't have to mean anything in regard to how serious her alcoholism is.
I think you're handling the situation well for now. You're thinking clearly. Please, don't forget what you know now, don't compromise, don't go for denial yourself (which can be quite tempting when the pain gets too much). I agree with others who said her willingness to go for therapy (but no discussion about alcohol) is nothing but bargaining.
But also that baraganing is not to deceive you, it is again about her own denial. Alcoholism is a terrible disease, accompanied with shame, guilt, selfhatred,... that A is trying to heal with more drinking.
The best thing you can do for your wife is what you're doing right now: letting her face the consenquences of her actions. That is all help you can give her. Please, remember that whenever you feel tempted to do something else.
Also, I suggest you stick around here and read as much as you can, especially stickies at the top of the forum, there is so much wisdom there.

Here is a link to the thread you might find useful:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html

You're doing great
take care
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