Thanks everyone for your replies. I will keep going to alanon. After my Dad died I went to therapy for awhile and found it helpful. I've contacted my old therapist and will also be seeking counsel from them as well.
I want to stick around and give her time, but the current tension is difficult (obviously). My ultimate goal will be to find a way to be at peace with her, but at the same time not be in denial about her illness. I pray that she sees the light, but also understand the repercussions if she does not. Only time will tell. Again... thank you all.