Hi PacApps and
to SR. I'm glad you found this place and that you posted your story.
I'm also glad to see you're going to Al-Anon. I found the best support there. I strongly encourage you to keep going to get the support you need.
If you've been to Al-Anon, you know the 3 C's of addiction:
You didn't CAUSE it
You can't CURE it
You can't CONTROL it
As hard as it is to step way back, you simply have to. Nothing you do or say can convince your wife to stop drinking. Heck, she doesn't even think it's a problem really. The only thing you can do is focus on yourself.
You said things very clearly and honestly in your post: you want children but don't want a child with an alcoholic active in her addiction. It seems like it's time to reassess whether or not this relationship is right or healthy for you. I applaud you for thinking ahead about any possible children and not just jumping in, thinking that a pregnancy will magically solve your problems. I know I thought being preggo would make my XAH stop drinking....heheh, right.
I think that at this point, you need to tell your wife clearly where you stand and what your next step will be. Any "ultimatum" will no doubt result in more explosions between you two.
Keep posting! SR is always open.