mermaidgirl I am one of the others who has gone through this. This is what I finally had to say to myself-and it took a while to get there because I was just as angry as you are-possibly more. It was worth it to get rid of him and he has nothing I want.
I don't know if Colorado is a 50-50 state. Where I live it is. Also it is no fault divorce so nobody cared what a piece of crap he is. Mediators told me--we can't make him get off his a** and get a job any more than you could. He can file his little papers every week by going to all his friends and asking for work. That does not mean he will get a job.
If he had asked for maintenance I am sure part of me would have wanted to go out a buy a pair of steel-toed boots and find out if he really had the ba**s (nerve) to ask for more money. Kidding, kidding.
When I walked out of financial mediation I was madder than I have ever been in my life. I supported his lazy butt for most of our marriage and he walked off with not only half of my retirement --but half of my years of service. He got his child support reduced and on and on and on. Thing is, at the final hearing the judge pretty much looked at me and said, had this gone to trial the same thing would have happened (and I got the feeling he too thought I was being taken to the cleaners but unfortunately the law can be convoluted so this can be done). A moral person would not convolute the law but xah has no morals.
My saving grace happened the day before the final hearing when I went to church and heard a message that completely changed my mindset. I'm not saying I still don't get miffed about the money, especially when I am struggling financially. But the long and the short of it was--I have absolutely NOTHING to envy when it comes to him. Unlike him I have morals. Unlike him I am NOT an alcoholic and drug addict. Unlike him, I am not a waste of space on this earth. Unlike him, I do not prey on people to get whatever I can out of them. Unlike him, I do not live 2 lives--the good church music director and the drunken drug addict. I don't have to try to keep my personalities straight. There is only one of me. Yep, he got cash and that is all he got. He had absolutely NOTHING I wanted.
Does that make sense.
Still, I know how angry you are--but also keep in mind no one else is angry. Don't let him turn you into a bitter person. As my sister told me--"He's stolen everything else. Don't let him steal your joy!"
And yes, he is a slime but that does not mean you have to be envious of that.