Welcome here pilot!
I was angry because my choice to drink stole the last 18 months of quality life from me, and for the last twenty years made it less.
I was more afraid of NOT living ANY rest of my life with of alcohol, than living without it, because it is progressive as a dis-ease.
It seems I stopped in time, and look forward to living every day of the rest of my life without alcohol, even the bad ones, as they too shall pass. It is your choice. You can choose to live the rest of your life drinking. Or not, and get into a detox/support program. If you don't try, you can never do anything. Sometimes we try and succeed even to our own amazement.
Professional athletes can't just play and forget about it the rest of the time. They have to practice practice practice. Getting sober is the same thing. One game at a time until the superbowl ring. One practice day at a time for that final success at sobriety.
"Being challenged in life is inevitable, being defeated is optional." -- Roger Crawford