An XABF arrives drunk to work. 9 AM midweek and he is STILL drunk.
He has been employed for 2 years and some people say "he is doing great, hasn't arrived drunk lately". The boss is in another country.
Some alkies are functional in other levels. Other's denial (or lack of attention to their empoyees) also helps That does not mean they do not have a disease and the life of anyone that comes to close, becomes hell in no time.
Performing arts - you can keep going to the events, by yourself, or with other friends.
Nice home-you could work towards obtaining a nice place for yourself too. Or take a vacation somewhere beautiful. Material possessions are not worth sanity. In yoga there is also a branch that is called Contentment. There are many beautiful places that one doesn't have the fortune to enjoy, but you can be content with what you have.
I took this from another thread from the user called FormerDoormat. You already got #1:
Pre-incident Indicators Associated with Spousal Abuse
I was going to post this at a later date, but since a new member is asking how to protect her infant today, I thought it best to post it now. Following is a list of pre-incident indicators associated with spousal abuse:
1. The woman has intuitive feelings that she is at risk.
2. At the inception of the relationship, the man accelerated the pace, prematurely placing on the agenda such things as commitment, living together, and marriage.
3. He resolves conflict with intimidation, bullying, and violence.
4. He is verbally abusive.
5. He uses threats and intimidation as instruments of control or abuse.
6. He breaks or strikes things in anger.
7. He has battered in prior relationships.
8. He uses alcohol or drugs with adverse affects.
9. He cites alcohol or drugs as an excuse or explanation for hostile or violent conduct.
10. His history includes police encounters for behavioral offenses.
11. There has been more than one incident of violent behavior.
12. He uses money to control the activities, purchases, and behavior of his wife/partner.
13. He becomes jealous of anyone or anything that takes her time away from the relationship.
14. He refuses to accept rejection.
15. He expects the relationship to go on forever, perhaps using phrases like "together for life," "always," "no matter what."
16. He projects extreme emotions onto others (hate, love, jealousy, commitment) even when there is no evidence that would lead a reasonable person to perceive them.
17. He minimizes incidents of abuse.
18. He spends a disproportionate amount of time talking about his wife/partner and derives much of his identity from being her husband, lover, etc.
19. He tries to enlist his wife's friends or relatives in a campaign to keep or recover the relationship.
20. He has inappropriately surveilled or followed his wife/partner.
21. He believes others are out to get him.
22. He resists change and is described as inflexible, unwilling to compromise.
23. He identifies with or compares himself to violent people in films, news stories, fuction, or history.
24. He suffers mood swings or is sullen, angry, or depressed.
25. He consistently blames others for problems of his own making.
26. He refers to weapons as instruments of power, control, or revenge.
27. Weapons are a substantial part of his persona; he has a gun or he talks about, jokes about, reads about, or collects weapons.
28. He uses "male privilege" as a justification for his conduct (treats her like a servent, makes all the big decisions, acts like the "master of the house").
29. He experienced or witnessed violence as a child.
30. His wife/partner fears he will injure or kill her. She has discussed this with others or has plans to be carried out in the event of her death (e.g., designating someone to care for her children)