In a healthy relationship both people bring something good to the partnership and the partners accept (and love) each other for the person they are...not for the person they believe they may become.
His expectations of how you "should be" conflict with how you are.
Perhaps your expectations of how you "wish he was" do not reflect the person he is.
My thoughts are that there are too many red flags here for any kind of healthy relationship right now.
Even friendship, when he won't speak to you, seems unlikely.
And, sorry to say this but having a relationship with your family when he won't speak to you...sounds manipulative.
This time of your life is a time of learning and growth, both scholastically and emotionally. Why not just enjoy your life and see what unfolds naturally for you?
Sheesh, I almost deleted this post because it sounds very "instructive", but I hope you just accept it as thoughts from an old lady who has learned a little about life herself.
Hugs regardless of what choices you make.