If you feel like your a hostage, there is something out of whack. That something is the balance we all struggle with on a daily basis. Only do what you truly feel you can do without compromising the things that are important to you. Remember she needs to suffer the consequences of her actions in order to understand the havoc she has wreaked. It's part of the painful and important process of growth for her. Do not rob her of that. And do not rob yourself of your needs either.
Find and keeping a balance is the healthiest thing we can do for ourselves and our loved ones who suffer from this insidious disease.
Peace,
Jen