hoplite

James.....I am 59 and have posted on the Newcomers board a couple days now didn't know my way aroun yet.
I spent 40 years of my life on one drug or another addicted to H at 19
and on Methadone for years....then on to everything else every decade and back to opiates again at 50 something (pain pills)....All these years functioning and making money but never really getting ahead. Always keeping my witts and concealing my diversions....Even from my wife of 10 years.....Then it hit the fan!....So I got on Suboxone for three years did slow detox, went to Florida and detoxed out for 10 days hold up in a buddys condo. It was terrible and went on for days and days ....when I got home and still shakey my wife said she was not in love with me anymore and wanted a divorce....I went insane and right into withdrawals again but, I have not slipped or even considered slipping even thru the most difficult time of my life....My advise... make up your mind you want out. Suboxone worked for me but it makes you a drone and all you think about is that pill to make each day livable....It works but don't stay on it too long it takes at least a month to get your senses back and sleep OK....

I feel for you young man...take it from an old druggie who lived a lot but wasted more life and money than you can imagine...You gotta quit there is no peace with that monkey clinging to your back....For the first time in my life since I was a kid I can talk to God without being ashamed of myself and my secrets...I'm a new man at 59 scared about the future and sorry for making my wife so miserable she stopped loving me but, thru it all I'm hanging on to clean...and won't go back....Do it now and finish the job or it will never end
...It's gonna hurt and you'll feel like CR#P but it will pass and you'll sleep like a baby again....hopefully in your fiance's arms.....God Bless...and stay on the board....I've been here 2 days and the support has already helped me....Hoplite