TJP
If you're going to "war story" meetings where everyone's sitting around trying to brag about how much they drank and how stupid they acted.....well......that's not good AA and nobody gets well doing that.
If you're going to meetings looking for reasons why you don't fit - looking for differences - well, you're hurting yourself. Glass half full vs. glass half empty. Which half are you concentrating on?
At first, I don't think many ppl who walk into AA really hope to identify. Personally, I hoped I wasn't one of them so I wouldn't have to do all that "stuff." I found enough differences, didn't do that AA "stuff," continued to drink......tried unsuccessfully to control it, further ruined my life, and got a 3rd DUI. I sure showed them!
Interestingly, I went back the same guy I was the first time I walked in but this time I was a little more open minded and, low and behold, it was pretty simple to figure out I had the same thing they had - alcoholism. Sure, my circumstances were different and there are/were a lot of differences in my story vs theirs.......but the main things were the same: When I started I craved more, when I stopped I couldn't stay stopped and even when I could stay stopped, life still sucked. Those three add up to alcoholism and the BB addresses them directly: physical craving, mental obsession and spiritual malady.
I suppose I could have focused on my differences some more: didn't obsess over booze ALL the time, didn't ALWAYS drink too much, didn't ALWAYS have a physical craving when I started, didn't always drink in the morning, I hadn't puked or really had hangovers for 7 or 8 years, I hadn't lost my job, I own my own home, I still had friends and family that were close, etc.....but those particulars have little to do with REAL alcoholism.
I guess, I finally got mature enough to be willing to take an objective look at what was happening in my life and became willing to do something about it. I'm not saying you're immature nor am I saying you're an alcoholic........just that it takes maturity (+honesty and some courage) to take a good hard look at yourself to make the determination about being alcoholic or not.
Whatever YOUR truth is, I'll hope you have the ability to honestly find it.