I just had to have this same conversation now with my Dad
He has all this guilt and is trying to explain himself, why he has to seek a protective order against my brother, etc. I just let him explain, and when he was done, I told him it's OK, I don't blame him, it is not his fault my brother is this way, so he doesn't need to feel guilty about it. That I understand it is "different" when it is your own child (even though I can't emotionally understand this because I am not a parent). But Dad is alcoholic too so he is even less equipped than the rest of us to deal with this.
My heart is with you
Chicory. Please take good care of you. :ghug3