char,
your right..it is a tough one...a person with 13 years can still be going through a very rough time, and partners don't always cooperate...but....
seems like requesting no noisy toys at a minimum is reasonable.
IF it were a friend of mine in the program...(thus assuming i would know more about her situation...can she afford a babysitter, is she struggling right now)...I would probably talk to her directly about it first....based on a light hand and offer to help find solutions with her by talking through the options.
sticky situation..please let us know how it goes