I went through this too. It is the alcoholic in you making you think that it will be ok and there will be no consequences and you can just start over.
I gave in to that voice once and it took me 2 years of heavy drinking to make the attempt to get help again.
It was gradual at first. Just one night of drinking with family because it was a special occasion, and look they came from so far away to see us!!...Well, then it turned into a quick 6 pack of beer, I dont even think I'll drink them all i told myself..Next thing I knew it was 2 years later and I was beginning to show signs physically of my alcoholism, scared me something awful.
Dont drink today...because that one drink is never just one...and it could be a very long time before you come around again.
Big hugs and prayers to you I hope you hang in there!!!