hey, it's a free world. you don't have to drive with him to the tournament. just tell him you're driving yourself and ds. of course, he could drive him self there also. it's a free world.
it sounds as tho he isn't planning on leaving. you asked him to leave while you and ds are away, and now he says he's coming. obviously, he is not respecting your boundaries, is he?
i agree with purplesquirrl...develop a plan for if he doesn't leave...
naive