can't thank you guys enough...feeling better...man it IS like this monster that completely convinces you that having a drink will have no consequences...it truly is insanity. If I compare what I was feeling an hour ago to now, I can really see that the subject of alcohol makes me sick and unbalanced. My thoughts about alcohol are ALL wrong. The only correct one is "Don't drink". Your input is greatly appreciated and I will go to bed sober tonight.