Renee,
I'll second what Dee said: Relapse is NOT a requirement! I haven't picked up a drink since my detox and first AA meeting. Two years so far.
No, I'll not be so arrogant as to say I could never in a million years relapse, but I don't have a serious fear about it right now. I'm doing what I need to do to stay sober.
I have good friends who came into AA before and after I did, who relapsed. Both were miserable and unhappy about it, even though they got right back on board and worked harder.
You don't "deserve" a relapse. Nobody does. And remember, some people do not make it back. The "slip" turns into a tumble into the abyss, and they die. Or they drive drunk and hurt someone else or cause immeasurable complications in their own lives.
Your disease wants to be fed, that's all.