I know I told myself that there MUST be an "easier, softer way" to get around this alcoholism thing. I am not like the rest of these alcoholics. I am different and I am stronger than these people. What I didn't know is that I may be different from these people - my situation is different, my character is different, I didn't do bad things when I was drunk and I AM different.
But the disease I have is NOT different and I've come to believe this now. And then crazy thing happened. I am sober! Trying to find the "easier, softer way" was for me only a dead end and almost fatal. It also took SO MUCH MORE EFFORT and energy. I'm lazy. I don't want to expend all that kind of effort anymore.