I don't think a non-alcoholic even
thinks about controlling their drinking. To them it's a non issue. There's no need to 'control' what isn't a problem. They don't have to "try really hard" to limit their alcohol intake.
I tried for two years to control my drinking, always ending up worse off than before. It was only when I quit for good that I found freedom and happiness.
Altho I take my sobriety one day at a time, it really pleases me to imagine
my whole life without alcohol.
It does not give me a feeling of deprivation to know that I can never drink again, it gives me a huge feeling of satisfaction and relief to be free of that obsession.... and what you're doing is obsessing about drinking, not a good sign, in my opinion, and not something non alcoholics ever do.