I guess I'm just not at that point yet.
Like I said - I can totally relate!!
Can you try an AlAnon meeting? Or even the rehab she is at may have meetings for family. Face to face discussion may help you figure out how to tell her or how to let it go and let the lawyer or her husband tell her...
What helped me stop enabling was what I learned about the addicted mind and how the enablers are helping the enemy! I really just will not play for the team that is killing my brothers. Our relationships are much better than they were when I was enabling them. Our relationships stopped being all about alcohol and all about their problems once I learned to let their alcoholism and the consequences of their drinking be 100% their problem.
Keep posting - you're not alone - collectively we've seen it all here on SR!
Peace-
B