Well, here's my take on courtesy: I didn't bring my boyfriend to parent teacher conferences, and my ex THANKED me for my consideration. He won't return it though.
Gosh, where to start. No, this person isn't a temporary relationship for my aexh; they've lived together for about three years now. She does care very much about my daughter (and aexh). But, she has absolutely zero sense of when to back off and let things be what they are. Yes, she's a genuinely loving person... so much that she's made it her full time job to compulsively care for a man in his 40s and a child who already has a mother and father. I could care less about their relationship, but as the mom of said child, I've had it out the wazoo with her good intentions.
Who here said, "God didn't put you on this earth to follow around a grown man with a dustpan, a fire extinguisher and a pack of Huggies"? That's such a dead-on description of her, it's painful to watch. She wants me to give to her his and my old tax information. She wants me to give her my daughter's library books checked out on his card. She communicates with me when he won't. She lets him live in her house for free (my daughter says). I used to dislike her; now I feel sorry for her.
My daughter is now involved in this mess: she forwarded me the message that "if [her dad's GF] doesn't get things done, they won't get done." Well... I don't doubt that's true. She will probably deal with my daughter's problems better than her dad will (note: this same person denied to me that my child had such issues, and let me know she considered herself to be more qualified to make that judgment than me. Finally the school counselor backed me up. This didn't leave me with a warm fuzzy feeling about the GF).
But it's NOT HER JOB. I don't care how spotty my aexh's performance as a dad is... he's still the dad, and I'm the mom. I did not sign up to raise my child in a threesome! I have accommodated them six ways to Sunday, to the point of slinking away while they publicly had a relationship before we even filed for divorce. I'M DONE putting myself second fiddle. They're not evil people, they can mean well until the cows come home, but I finally made peace what I will and won't have in my life. They can arrange child care in their home however they like; but on my time, there will be two parents.
Gaaahhh!!!!!