Thank you everyone. I still feel a bit sad that almost 20 yrs came to this. Its weird to think of myself as a single again even though he has been gone a good 7 months.But I do know that the valley will not last forever. Life goes on, good and bad. But living with an active , abusive alcoholic cannot be the good part. So I look forward to the better days to come. Blessings to all .Hadassah