hi guy-
you will exhaust yourself being the booze police. she's a grown woman, she can drink if she wants to.
i agree with noday, a good next step for you is to consider what boundaries you have. things like her driving, her caring for the children, her having full access to your money...
they are resourceful and can hide the drink quite successfully. i heard one story where the guy shot vodka into oranges with syringes to trick his spouse.
her end of your conversation is common: the lying and then the blaming you or blaming just about anything for their drinking. we call this denial. try to recognize when she changes the subject from drinking to what's wrong with you. we call that blame-shifting, a common tactic to get the focus off their drinking.
don't take the bait.
naive